Statement of principles for the 40th of July.

The 40th of July was originally conceived as the "anti-Harvard party." Let's take a quick look at some of the typical qualities of Harvard parties and compare them to the 40th of July.

Harvard party 40th of July

Timing Starts at 11pm and lasts about two hours. Starts at 3pm and lasts eight to twelve hours.

Booze Has one keg of crappy beer that is kicked within an hour. No one gets really drunk. Unlimited quantites of alcohol.

Venue Held in a small, skanky dorm room in mid-winter. Held in the great outdoors in mid-summer.

Music The same five dance tracks from the early 1990s that you hear at every other Harvard party. The sweet, sweet blues, America's native music.

Revelry People pretend to get drunk and have a good time, while actually drinking one beer and worrying about midterms. People get shitfaced and naked.

Food None. Hamburgers and watermelon, food of the gods.

Patriotism No. At every opportunity.

Partygoers Either every single person on campus, or a select group that you're not a member of. Everyone with enough unction is welcome.

	Harvard party	40th of July
Timing	Starts at 11pm and lasts about two hours.	Starts at 3pm and lasts eight to twelve hours.
Booze	Has one keg of crappy beer that is kicked within an hour. No one gets really drunk.	Unlimited quantites of alcohol.
Venue	Held in a small, skanky dorm room in mid-winter.	Held in the great outdoors in mid-summer.
Music	The same five dance tracks from the early 1990s that you hear at every other Harvard party.	The sweet, sweet blues, America's native music.
Revelry	People pretend to get drunk and have a good time, while actually drinking one beer and worrying about midterms.	People get shitfaced and naked.
Food	None.	Hamburgers and watermelon, food of the gods.
Patriotism	No.	At every opportunity.
Partygoers	Either every single person on campus, or a select group that you're not a member of.	Everyone with enough unction is welcome.