Date: Thu, 15 Jul 1999 09:48:03 -0700
From: Bill Evans 
Subject: yes, the 40th of July

gentlemen:

the earth has brought us once more full-circle around the sun, and that
event by which we mark our time on this planet and by which we reckon
the advancement or decline of our own lives, is upon us once again.  it
is time to proclaim our Freedom, to assert our Rights, and to oppress
the commie bastards who plot against us.  it is time to get retarded on
the sweet nectar of malt liquor and eat vast quantities of beef and
watermelon, the wonder food of gods.

it is time for the 40th of July.

for those of you among us with whom I have had the distinction of
marking this special day last year and in the five years previous, this
party needs no introduction, no explanation, no flowery speeches.  for
those of you  who weren't there and for whom this will be the first
40th, take heart and act boldly.  this is your chance to be a part of
history.

the commie cowards must be crushed.

the time has come, once again, to assert our dominance as Rulers of the
Free world; to drink; to make fun of communism; to drink more; if
possible, to fill hagan's entire apartment with an inch of standing
water yet again; and, if necessary, to once again throw a stumbling
eikel into the anonymous streets of Boston without a stitch of
clothing.  i request only that this year no one is duct-taped to
anything larger than themselves, as they must be free to move to and
from the beer.

to that end, one and all of you must attend.  the federal government
has graciously moved the 40th to the nearest occurring saturday  --
august 7th.  with the blessings of the beer gods (and help from our
point man, timbo cullen) we will be graced by the digs of Lil' Joe Cook
and the Thrillers.  hagan is still closely guarding the location, for
fear of communist infiltration or government surveillance.  he will
release it at a later date.  for now, just clear out your calendars.

there is a time in every man's life when a question must be answered:
am I tiny, or not?  let this missive serve as a call to arms.  answer
it as a true American (or Canuk wannabe) should.  

be there.

evans

ps. there are plenty of folks i know i missed on this msg and a bunch i
didn't think of, so just pass it on.